Welcome Home, Warrior
A letter from our Founder
Dear Warrior,
We are deeply sorry for your loss. Experiencing a miscarriage is a profoundly emotional and difficult journey, and navigating the reactions of friends and family can sometimes add to the complexity. As you move through this time, we want to share some insights on what you might expect from those around you—the good, the bad, and everything in between.
When going through the trauma of losing a pregnancy, it’s natural to expect that your loved ones will know how to comfort and support you. However, the reality is often different. Many people don’t know what to say or do in the face of grief. Well-meaning friends and family may offer responses like, “At least you weren’t further along,” or “Everything happens for a reason.” While they intend to be comforting, these phrases can feel dismissive and invalidating. It’s important to recognize that these reactions come from a place of discomfort and a lack of understanding about how to support someone experiencing such a loss.
You may also find that your partner responds in ways that are confusing or not aligned with your needs. They might think giving you space to grieve is helpful when you actually want their presence and shared tears. It can feel isolating when people seem to move on while you’re still engulfed in grief. Remember, most people were never taught how to navigate grief, and their discomfort can lead to actions or words that don’t always provide the support you need.
There will be moments when you feel disappointed or even angry with those closest to you. It’s okay and completely normal to have these feelings. Many people are trying their best, even if it doesn’t feel that way. If you feel comfortable, try to explain to your friends and family what kind of support would be most helpful for you. Open communication with your partner about your needs and feelings can also be crucial. They love you deeply and want to help but may need your guidance on how best to do so. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. We are here to support you, and together, we can find a way through this difficult time.
With compassion and care,
Shannon & the Miscarriage Warriors Community
Common Questions
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This depends on what you mean by “normal”. The short answer is “no”. Grief, especially a miscarriage, changes you. Many people want to “just go back to normal” after their miscarriage and they skip over the part where they acknowledge the pain of losing their child, their dream. At first, the grief will be all consuming and there will be times when you feel like you are drowning or that you aren’t going to be able to handle the pain. With some time, the grief will change and will come in waves. At times you will think that you are doing fine and then something out of the blue will remind you of your loss and you will be a puddle again. Eventually, you learn to live with the grief, it doesn’t go away, you just grow around it. We will work on teaching you how to discover a new version of who you are after grief.
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That is what we are going to discover. Through our time together we will work on tools to help you process your grief, we will help you through any anxiety that may arise from doctor appointments, future pregnancies or uncomfortable decisions that need to be made. We will help you gain clarity on what is really important to you now. We will also work on ways to reconnect with yourself and your partner.
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This will vary for each person, however, the normal time you will bleed will be 1-3 weeks. If you feel that you are bleeding too long or too much, please contact your doctor.
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It can take time for your body to get back to a regular schedule for your period. You may start your period the next month as normal, or it may take a month or two to get your period again.
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In general, if you are bleeding through a pad within an hour, you should contact your doctor. If you are feeling faint you should also contact your doctor.
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This is a personal decision and one that you shouldn’t take lightly. Doctors will tell you that you can try again when you are ready and when your body has healed (1-2 months after your miscarriage). However, it is also important that you take care of your emotional healing to ensure that you are prepared for this journey. If you get pregnant again, you will experience anxiety and will want to have tools to help you through your fear and uncertainty. A few tools to assist you on your healing journey can include journaling, movement, partnering with a coach, expression through art, and community. If you’re still unsure about the “right time” for your pregnancy journey, please reach out so we can chat further.
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Journaling can be a very powerful tool to use in your healing journey. Writing your feelings and experience helps you process the grief and pain, and helps move it through your body onto paper. Journaling can help provide insights that our conscious mind may not have otherwise captured. It provides a safe place to express our emotions without judgment. Journaling also allows us to organize our thoughts and intentions. Journaling is a free resource that, when used consistently, can be highly effective.
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It can be confusing and hard to tell when you should seek out a healthcare professional when experiencing a miscarriage. Doctors and nurses will usually say to contact them if you are bleeding through a pad every hour. Honestly, if you are feeling that something is “off” and doesn’t seem right, contact your doctor.
Remember, you’re not alone, Warrior
We know the toll that grief can take on us, and how it dramatically affects our perspective of the world around us. In those moments that seem the darkest and most alone, please know that we understand and we are here to help. Most importantly, we care deeply about providing the crucial compassionate care that everyone deserves to experience in moments like these.